It’s Just One of Those Days… Or Is It?
This morning, before 8am while doing a grocery shop, I heard two separate women mutter phrases we’ve all said at some point:
“It’s just one of those days...”
“Knowing my luck, something’s bound to go wrong.”
It struck me: it wasn’t even mid-morning and already, the day was being written off.
And while it’s tempting to laugh it off or chalk it up to stress or sarcasm, these kinds of comments—especially when habitual—are much more than offhand complaints.
They’re internalised scripts. And for many women, they’re worn into the nervous system like a groove, unconsciously shaping how we experience stress, how we move through the world, and ultimately—how we live.
🧠 The Neuroscience of Mindset: Your Brain Is Listening
Your brain doesn’t just respond to the world. It predicts it.
Thanks to the science of predictive processing, we now understand that the brain is constantly forecasting what’s likely to happen next—based on past experiences, thoughts, and emotions. This “guessing” process is efficient for survival but can be problematic when our predictions are negative or defeatist.
So when you say, “It’s just one of those days,” your brain and nervous system don’t hear it as a throwaway comment. They receive it as a cue to prepare for stress, scan for threat, and withdraw resources from higher-functioning areas (like creativity, intuition, digestion, and emotional regulation).
Your brain hears: “Here comes trouble.”
Your body says: “Tighten up, brace, survive.”
💡 It’s Not Just Thought—It’s Biology
A phrase becomes a posture. A posture becomes a habit. A habit becomes a nervous system state.
Over time, negative or self-defeating internal dialogue contributes to real physiological effects, including:
Cortisol dysregulation
Increased inflammation
Impaired digestion
Tension in the neck, shoulders, jaw
Lowered immune function
Disrupted sleep cycles
These aren’t just mood shifts—they’re full-body responses to internal narratives.
💃🏽 Why This Hits Women Harder
Women are not just “more emotional” (a stereotype we’re thankfully moving beyond)—they are often neurologically and socially primed to carry more emotional load, relational tension, and cognitive multitasking.
Key research reveals:
Women have increased activity in the default mode network (DMN)—the brain's hub for internal narrative, empathy, and memory.
Higher rumination rates among women, especially in perimenopause, adolescence, and postpartum phases.
The HPA axis, which governs stress hormones like cortisol, is more sensitive in women—especially when faced with chronic, subtle stress.
Translation?
That one casual phrase—“Knowing my luck…”—can trigger a deeper spiral in women, because of how the female brain-body system is wired to interpret and respond to perceived stress or social threat.
And over time, this contributes to:
Burnout
Anxiety
Emotional reactivity
Hormonal imbalances
Gut-brain dysregulation
Shame spirals and learned helplessness
🌀 Somatic Impacts: What the Body “Hears”
Your thoughts don’t just stay in your head—they ripple through your entire being.
When a woman wakes up and mutters, “It’s just one of those days,” her body may already be:
Holding the breath
Clenching the gut
Narrowing the focus (scanning for more problems)
Moving into a stress-based posture (slouched, guarded, shallow-breathing)
This is nervous system patterning—and it creates a loop where your body starts reacting to what you believe rather than what is real.
🔁 The Power of Reframing: It’s Not Just Positivity—It’s Neuroplasticity
Reframing isn’t about denying your experience. It’s not about pretending everything is fine or bypassing tough emotions. It’s about choosing a different lens—and when done consistently, it literally rewires your brain.
This is the foundation of cognitive reappraisal, which studies show can reduce cortisol, increase emotional resilience, and even boost immune function.
✨ Common Thoughts + Somatic Reframes
“It’s just one of those days.”…can become…“It was a rough start, but this day can still soften.”
“I can’t win.”…can become…“It’s okay to pause and regroup—this isn’t the end.”
“I always mess things up.”…can become…“I’m learning. I’m growing. I don’t have to be perfect.”
“Nothing ever works out for me.”…can become…“I trust that something unseen is unfolding for me.”
Add a breath. Add touch (hand on heart or belly). And you start engaging not just your brain, but your ventral vagus nerve—your body’s internal “social safety switch.”
☀️ Try This: Morning Reset for Mindset & Regulation
This 3-minute practice can help break the loop before it starts:
Place your hand over your heart.
Feel the warmth. The pressure sends a signal of safety to your brain.Breathe in for 4, out for 6.
Longer exhales soothe the stress response.Ask yourself gently:
“What story am I telling about this day?”
“What might be another way to see it?”
“What would love/compassion say in this moment?”Anchor with an intention:
Choose a word or feeling for the day: open, calm, focused, playful, trusting.
Repeat this each time you feel yourself slipping into old narratives.
💗 This Is Not Just Mindset Work—It’s Nervous System Reclamation
For many women—especially those who are emotionally attuned, perfectionistic, or burnt out—mindset work won’t land unless it’s felt in the body.
So let’s stop pretending that a few affirmations can override decades of stress, trauma, or social programming.
But also—let’s not ignore the life-changing power of changing our inner script, one gentle, conscious thought at a time.
You don’t have to believe every story your mind whispers.
You don’t have to wake up dreading your day.
You are the author now.
Choose a new way to meet the moment. Your nervous system will thank you.
🔍 Further Reading Dunker, D. G., Lobo, B. B., et al. (2021). Stress, the HPA axis, and women's health: A review. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 131, 105287. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psyneuen.2021.105287Friston, K. (2018). Does predictive coding have a future? Nature Neuroscience, 21, 1019–1021. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41593-018-0200-7Garland, E. L., Hanley, A. W., et al. (2021). Mindfulness-Oriented Recovery Enhancement and neural mechanisms of cognitive reappraisal. Science Advances, 7(7), eabf0380. https://doi.org/10.1126/sciadv.abf0380Hölzel, B. K., et al. (2016). Differential engagement of anterior cingulate and medial frontal cortex in meditators. Neuroscience Letters, 632, 143–147. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neulet.2016.08.002Jacobs, H. I. L., et al. (2020). Sex differences in the default mode network and implications for Alzheimer’s and brain aging. Human Brain Mapping, 41(18), 5156–5165. https://doi.org/10.1002/hbm.25184Ycaza Herrera, A. E., Mather, M., et al. (2020). HPA axis dysregulation and stress across the female lifespan. Neurobiology of Stress, 12, 100225. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ynstr.2020.100225