When the Bucket Overflows: What a Live Show Taught Me About Capacity, Grace, and Nervous System Recovery
Last weekend, I had the absolute joy of performing in a speakeasy experience right here in Coffs Harbour. It was a whirlwind of singing, dancing, and acting alongside a wonderful jazz band and two brilliant women who run a local theatre company. Together, we brought the script to life, pulled the music together, choreographed our movements, and created the whole experience from scratch.
It was creative magic. But it also brought me face-to-face with a moment that caught me completely off guard.
An Unexpected Moment on Stage
A few years ago, I went through an illness that impacted my memory, language, and my nervous system's ability to cope under stress—leaving me prone to physical symptoms when the pressure ramps up. Knowing this history, I was mindful leading up to the show, endeavouring to look after myself, while attending every rehearsal and learning everything I needed to.
And yet, during one of the performances, I dropped a couple of lines.
We recovered smoothly—as performers do—and I doubt anyone in the audience really noticed. But inside my body, a familiar cascade was triggered. As a recovering people-pleaser, my immediate thought was that I’d let the other women down after we had all worked so hard. Even though I’ve done so much inner work over the years, that single dropped line hit my confidence hard. By the second performance day, my nervous system felt dysregulated—I felt a bit shaky, teary, and frustrated with myself that I was letting it shadow the joy of the weekend.
Looking at the Whole Picture: The Cumulative Load
It wasn't until I spoke with loved ones afterward that the bigger picture became clear.
My internal reaction wanted to isolate that one dropped line as a personal failure, but the reality was simply a matter of cumulative load. Leading up to opening night, I was balancing two jobs, preparing for multiple shows, reworking my book, holding space for clients, and running on far less sleep than usual after traveling the week before.
On top of all of that, my life was full of wonderful, high-emotion family moments. My sister surprised me by flying in from interstate the night before the show, and I was so overjoyed to see her after six months. Plus, my son was traveling home from university to watch the performance, and I was so looking forward to having my two boys under the one roof again, even just for a few days.
My nervous system wasn't reacting to a dropped line on stage; it was reacting to a bucket that was already full to the brim with work, creativity, travel, and intense family joy. Drop one extra drop into a full bucket, and it naturally overflows.
The Shift: From Spiral to Soft Recovery
Years ago, a dysregulated moment like this would have knocked me sideways for weeks. I would have replayed it endlessly in my head while pushing through the exhaustion, forcing myself to clean the house, and pretending everything was fine.
This time, the real victory wasn't that I stayed completely unbothered—it was how quickly and gently I was able to bring myself back.
Instead of subscribing to the "buck up and keep going" mentality that so many women fall into, I allowed my system to process the natural post-event adrenaline drop. I gave myself permission to pause without feeling guilty, leaning into simple comfort anchors rather than creating a rigid to-do list of self-care.
I asked my husband for a hug, booked a massage, soaked in a warm bath, and sat on the couch chatting with my sister over a cup of tea. I leaned back into my daily gratitude practice, prioritised my morning walk in the sunshine, and let myself take an afternoon nap. Most importantly, I let the housework sit. In years past, after a show, I’d be scrubbing and organising. Instead, I chose to sit in the garden, pat my dog, make nourishing soup, and give myself space to just breathe.
What This Means for Any Woman Carrying a Full Life
Growth doesn't mean you will never feel overwhelmed, dysregulated, or self-critical again. Real growth is having the tools, self-awareness, and self-compassion to guide your nervous system back to safety when you do hit a wall.
It is precisely this lived experience—combined with my professional training in nervous system regulation and holistic well-being—that fuels the work I do with women every day. I don't coach from a place of flawless perfection or rigid rules. I help women navigate real, full, beautiful, and sometimes messy lives with practical somatic tools, sustainable health habits, and a gentle sense of flow.
Before you judge yourself for "overreacting" or having an off day, take a step back and look at your total capacity. Sleep debt, overcommitment, and even rich emotional moments take energy. You are allowed to be human, drop a line, or hit a wall without it undoing your talent, your progress, or your worth.
A Gentle Invitation to Connect
Real well-being isn't about flawless performance in any area of life—it's about building a compassionate relationship with yourself when your capacity reaches its limit.
If you’ve been carrying a heavy load lately and holding yourself to high standards while navigating a full schedule, you don't have to navigate it alone. Whether you're working through specific physical health goals, looking to regulate your stress levels, or wanting to move away from burnout and into a state of gentle flow, I am here to provide a safe, encouraging space.
Reach out here to book a gentle conversation to talk through your current goals and how I can support your journey this season.
Have a beautiful day, Kate 🪷